It Takes Two (Andy Tennant, 1995): Basically the Parent Trap again, but since it's not a divorced couple and just a couple of strangers there's no real tension in their being fooled into falling in love. The Olsen twins are disgustingly over-confident. Still, always good to see Kirstie Alley. [34]
This Is It (Kenny Ortega, 2009): I'd never really considered what a global phenomenon Michael Jackson is (Do you know anyone who doesn't really like at least one of his songs?). This ultra-straightforward documentary (just filmed rehearsal footage and bland soundbites from participators) really manages to ram that home, though I was getting a bit bored of his voice by the end of it. Obviously the fascinating part of it is trying to pick up on physical omens of his death, and although he is terribly thin and never without sunglasses, he performs very well. Mostly enjoyable. [53]
Wall Street (Oliver Stone, 1987): Was this cutting edge once? It's hard to comprehend the semi-classic status of this since it's an idea of moral corruption for monetary gain that we've seen so many times (even Eddie Murphy uses it as an arc for his kiddy films now). Still, it's fun to watch and there's not as much moral chest-beating as I expected (there'll plenty in the currently-filming sequel I bet). [52]
The Little Mermaid (Ron Clements & John Musker, 1989): Good songs and an enjoyable villain, otherwise this early template for Disney's 90s slate hasn't aged terribly well. It's still slick and quick, though I found most of the 'charming' characters annoying, and the animation looks rough in places. If I sound harsh it's only because I really love Disney's 90s singalongs. While this is above stuff like Hunchback of Notre Dam and Pocahontas, it isn't as memorable as many better ones. [54]
Labor Pains (Lara Shapiro): Oh Lindsay Lohan, you look so tired here! You can't blame her, as the script is one big snore, livening up only for moments of astonishing stupidity. Lohan is still likeable, though she's really not putting any effort into this one. Everyone nowadays thinks of a wacky idea and thinks it will translate into them being a decent comedy writer somehow. This has literally no laughs [18]
Shifty (Eran Creevy, 2008): Why, it's one of those really good British films people always talk about existing but I've found mostly don't. It's actually an ancient, typical story about a drug dealer who's a nice guy and wants to get out of the business. Simply executed, the story doesn't pile on contrivances or stereotypical living conditions (ie the drug dealer isn't in poverty) to make things dramatic. Creevy has an exceptional hold on the material though, creating convincing montages of doom and unbearable tension with economic use of music and cross-cutting. Certainly a talent to watch. [64]
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Saturday, 28 November 2009
Mommie Dearest (Frank Perry, 1981)
With: Faye Dunaway, Diana Scarwid, Steve Forrest, Howard Da Silva, Mara Hobel
Plot: Based on Joan Crawford's daughter's memoir, this scathing profile of the hellish actress follows their difficult mother-daughter relationship
---
Jesus Christ! I read that the filmmakers attempted to make this seem a bit more even handed than the book, so I can't imagine what nightmares go on in that. This is the ultimate lurid voyeurism, undeniably thrilling to watch because it's (allegedly) true but also camp and hysterical which keeps us detached enough to not feel too bad about it all. It's tough to imagine this was ever going for anything other than the status of camp classic, but the sad story behind it manages to be compelling enough to keep its histrionics going off the rails, and although it doesn't do too much exploration, the demented psychological figure of Joan Crawford is laid bare for us to poke and analyse. Dunaway chews the scenery until there's nothing left, which is probably appropriate for this kind of thing, and Scarwid and Hobel as the daughter at different ages both simmer quietly with resentment and fear to a marvellously matched effect. Essential viewing for anyone even slightly interested in celebrity.
72
Plot: Based on Joan Crawford's daughter's memoir, this scathing profile of the hellish actress follows their difficult mother-daughter relationship
---
Jesus Christ! I read that the filmmakers attempted to make this seem a bit more even handed than the book, so I can't imagine what nightmares go on in that. This is the ultimate lurid voyeurism, undeniably thrilling to watch because it's (allegedly) true but also camp and hysterical which keeps us detached enough to not feel too bad about it all. It's tough to imagine this was ever going for anything other than the status of camp classic, but the sad story behind it manages to be compelling enough to keep its histrionics going off the rails, and although it doesn't do too much exploration, the demented psychological figure of Joan Crawford is laid bare for us to poke and analyse. Dunaway chews the scenery until there's nothing left, which is probably appropriate for this kind of thing, and Scarwid and Hobel as the daughter at different ages both simmer quietly with resentment and fear to a marvellously matched effect. Essential viewing for anyone even slightly interested in celebrity.
72
17 Again (Burr Steers, 2009)
With: Zac Efron, Leslie Mann, Thomas Lennon, Sterling Knight, Michelle Trachtenberg, Matthew Perry
Plot: Loser in life Matthew Perry is transformed into his younger self (Efron) by a magical janitor, so that he can put right the mistakes of his youth, and form a slightly creepy bond with his previously estranged wife and kids, who don't know who he really is.
---
I went in ready to really hate this, due to an intense dislike of High School Musical, and while it's not exactly better than you'd expect, Efron establishes himself as an able comic actor. We've seen this story so many different ways (Big, 13 Going on 30, the Freaky Fridays), that the lack of invention in its mechanics (particularly the magical janitor, perhaps the laziest plot device of the year) becomes more gruelling and noticeable with each new body-swap comedy, so unfortunately this film bears the brunt of all their sins, though it is also one of the sloppiest. Visually, Steers is pretty nippy and the film looks nice and has pretty much flawless pace and timing (if not the content to match), and the romance between Lennon and the school principal as a meeting of successful nerds feels sweet if silly. Otherwise this is just like all those other films but a bit less funny, and crosses an awkward line when Trachtenberg practically sexually assaults Efron, not knowing he's her father. Urgh!
43
Plot: Loser in life Matthew Perry is transformed into his younger self (Efron) by a magical janitor, so that he can put right the mistakes of his youth, and form a slightly creepy bond with his previously estranged wife and kids, who don't know who he really is.
---
I went in ready to really hate this, due to an intense dislike of High School Musical, and while it's not exactly better than you'd expect, Efron establishes himself as an able comic actor. We've seen this story so many different ways (Big, 13 Going on 30, the Freaky Fridays), that the lack of invention in its mechanics (particularly the magical janitor, perhaps the laziest plot device of the year) becomes more gruelling and noticeable with each new body-swap comedy, so unfortunately this film bears the brunt of all their sins, though it is also one of the sloppiest. Visually, Steers is pretty nippy and the film looks nice and has pretty much flawless pace and timing (if not the content to match), and the romance between Lennon and the school principal as a meeting of successful nerds feels sweet if silly. Otherwise this is just like all those other films but a bit less funny, and crosses an awkward line when Trachtenberg practically sexually assaults Efron, not knowing he's her father. Urgh!
43
Dragonball Evolution (James Wong, 2009)
With: Justin Chatwin, Chow Yun-Fat, Emmy Rossum, Jamie Chung, James Marsters
Plot: A young warrior destined for greatness (Chatwin) must track down seven Dragonballs that grant unlimited power before they are found by the evil Piccolo (Marsters)
---
Who was this made for? Surely the only interested party would be fans of the manga (Which I haven't seen) which has obviously been severely bastardised here. The story has transformed into an American High School comedy with occasional saturday morning cartoon bouts of questing and fighting. It's not terribly made exactly, but so weak and half-hearted that you find yourself actively pitying those involved as you watch (Did their friends have to go see it and feign approval?). Obviously the budget doesn't allow for as many effects as the story requires, and the teens are too fresh-faced and plastic to make the fight scenes seem anything other than playing with lifeless dolls. One of those films that fails badly on so many levels that it becomes a semi-interesting emblem for the worst of Hollywood, but the only true joy it brings is imagining all those hardcore manga fans weeping into their Goku dolls.
26
Plot: A young warrior destined for greatness (Chatwin) must track down seven Dragonballs that grant unlimited power before they are found by the evil Piccolo (Marsters)
---
Who was this made for? Surely the only interested party would be fans of the manga (Which I haven't seen) which has obviously been severely bastardised here. The story has transformed into an American High School comedy with occasional saturday morning cartoon bouts of questing and fighting. It's not terribly made exactly, but so weak and half-hearted that you find yourself actively pitying those involved as you watch (Did their friends have to go see it and feign approval?). Obviously the budget doesn't allow for as many effects as the story requires, and the teens are too fresh-faced and plastic to make the fight scenes seem anything other than playing with lifeless dolls. One of those films that fails badly on so many levels that it becomes a semi-interesting emblem for the worst of Hollywood, but the only true joy it brings is imagining all those hardcore manga fans weeping into their Goku dolls.
26
9 (Shane Acker, 2009)
With: Elijah Wood, Jennifer Connelly, Christopher Plummer, John C Reilly, Martin Landau
Plot: In a dystopian future, earth is uninhabited except for an army of vicious machines and nine woven living dolls, who are destined to save the planet.
---
It's looks so damn fantastic that you assume someone with this visual artistry would have slaved away on a story that means something, but in the end it relies on generic themes and truisms (Working together is good, the world is becoming too technological etc) that could come from anywhere. Never mind, as this familiarly plotted animation is nonetheless exciting, quick and strangely memorable, even if it's mostly just down to the style. Design and action are obviously Acker's strong points, and he successfully papers over the plot holes and disappointments with them several times over. Someone just needs to write him a better script.
59
Plot: In a dystopian future, earth is uninhabited except for an army of vicious machines and nine woven living dolls, who are destined to save the planet.
---
It's looks so damn fantastic that you assume someone with this visual artistry would have slaved away on a story that means something, but in the end it relies on generic themes and truisms (Working together is good, the world is becoming too technological etc) that could come from anywhere. Never mind, as this familiarly plotted animation is nonetheless exciting, quick and strangely memorable, even if it's mostly just down to the style. Design and action are obviously Acker's strong points, and he successfully papers over the plot holes and disappointments with them several times over. Someone just needs to write him a better script.
59
Jennifer's Body (Karyn Kusama, 2009)
With: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons, Adam Brody
Plot: Sexy high school bitch Jennifer (Fox) is transformed into a man-eating monster after an emo band's satanic sacrifice gone wrong. Her previous best friend, the nerdy Needy (Seyfried) must try and stop her
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I wasn't expecting much from this after fairly scathing reviews, but what is surprising is that it's such a dud as a horror film, misguidedly spending all its energy on trying to be a snarky high-school satire. The fact that Jennifer was a metaphorical man-eater and is now a real one seems to be the film's one joke, the annoying banter and teen-speak from writer Diablo Cody's Juno crossing over to this film with none of the solid relationships or charming sentiment that made it work there. The dialogue is actually horrifically bad ("Chill out dot org!"), the only character managing to negotiate it with style and confidence is emo band baddie Brody, even JK Simmons is lost! The horror parts lack any tension and, a surprisingly acidic turn from Fox aside, the evil is embarassingly undercooked. It's still somewhat entertaining and has some memorable comic moments (Needy and her boyfriend's sex scene is a sweet highlight), but for an obviously smart writer with an outspoken love for the genre, Cody has written something as flaccid as all the needless remakes we now get.
44
Plot: Sexy high school bitch Jennifer (Fox) is transformed into a man-eating monster after an emo band's satanic sacrifice gone wrong. Her previous best friend, the nerdy Needy (Seyfried) must try and stop her
---
I wasn't expecting much from this after fairly scathing reviews, but what is surprising is that it's such a dud as a horror film, misguidedly spending all its energy on trying to be a snarky high-school satire. The fact that Jennifer was a metaphorical man-eater and is now a real one seems to be the film's one joke, the annoying banter and teen-speak from writer Diablo Cody's Juno crossing over to this film with none of the solid relationships or charming sentiment that made it work there. The dialogue is actually horrifically bad ("Chill out dot org!"), the only character managing to negotiate it with style and confidence is emo band baddie Brody, even JK Simmons is lost! The horror parts lack any tension and, a surprisingly acidic turn from Fox aside, the evil is embarassingly undercooked. It's still somewhat entertaining and has some memorable comic moments (Needy and her boyfriend's sex scene is a sweet highlight), but for an obviously smart writer with an outspoken love for the genre, Cody has written something as flaccid as all the needless remakes we now get.
44
Sunday, 22 November 2009
King of the Hill (Steven Soderbergh, 1993)
With: Jesse Bradford, Jeroen Krabbe, Lisa Eichorn, Karen Allen, Spalding Grey
Plot: Through a series of unfortunate contrivances, a young boy (Bradford) must fend for himself while growing up in the American Midwest during the 1930s Depression.
---
Another one of those slice-of-life films, definitely Soderbergh's most conventional early film, and it manages to be a surprisingly relaxing watch considering the near poverty and adult-dodging that the boy's life consists of. It's a wise move to make even the big dramas feel low key (achieved by the character's slightly implausible stoicism and resoursefulness), because you don't realise your sympathies for him have been slowly piling up until the end. The final indignant reaction to his father's good news is a quietly touching scene, a real coming of age moment in a film that easily could have been overstuffed with them but manages to resist. The period detail is likeable and perhaps slightly cartoony, but not ladelled on too thick.
67
Plot: Through a series of unfortunate contrivances, a young boy (Bradford) must fend for himself while growing up in the American Midwest during the 1930s Depression.
---
Another one of those slice-of-life films, definitely Soderbergh's most conventional early film, and it manages to be a surprisingly relaxing watch considering the near poverty and adult-dodging that the boy's life consists of. It's a wise move to make even the big dramas feel low key (achieved by the character's slightly implausible stoicism and resoursefulness), because you don't realise your sympathies for him have been slowly piling up until the end. The final indignant reaction to his father's good news is a quietly touching scene, a real coming of age moment in a film that easily could have been overstuffed with them but manages to resist. The period detail is likeable and perhaps slightly cartoony, but not ladelled on too thick.
67
Monday, 16 November 2009
100 Feet (Eric Red, 2008)
With: Famke Janssen, Bobby Cannavale, Ed Westwick
Plot: Under house arrest for killing her abusive husband, Janssen finds herself being terrorised by his ghost.
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A slick thriller (You'd expect no less from Red) which doesn't outstay its welcome and provides a good showcase for Janssen, maybe the best she's had. It doesn't stick in the mind too long after viewing, and some elements jar, such as Westwick's role, which makes little sense compared to the decent character work elsewhere, and is obviously present simply to complicate the plot. Being terrorised by a ghost is very standard fare (and the actual 'horror' scenes don't bring anything new) but it makes the heroine's plight an interesting dilemma, and it's gratifyingly obvious that Red is more interested in this than rustling up a cheap scare.
57
Plot: Under house arrest for killing her abusive husband, Janssen finds herself being terrorised by his ghost.
---
A slick thriller (You'd expect no less from Red) which doesn't outstay its welcome and provides a good showcase for Janssen, maybe the best she's had. It doesn't stick in the mind too long after viewing, and some elements jar, such as Westwick's role, which makes little sense compared to the decent character work elsewhere, and is obviously present simply to complicate the plot. Being terrorised by a ghost is very standard fare (and the actual 'horror' scenes don't bring anything new) but it makes the heroine's plight an interesting dilemma, and it's gratifyingly obvious that Red is more interested in this than rustling up a cheap scare.
57
The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (Joseph Sargent, 1974)
With: Walter Matthau, Robert Shaw, Martin Balsam, Hector Elizondo
Plot: Armed men take a NY subway train hostage. Gruff Transit police chief Matthau must negotiate with lead criminal Shaw.
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People love this, don't they? I didn't think it was that great aside from a superb score and one or two clever ideas. It's certainly an efficient thriller but the criminals and tediously concieved, with Shaw in particular playing an eccentric psycho with clipped speech that wouldn't seem out of place in a straight to video Seagal film. Matthau, also, performs as a generic, weary and tough-but-nice New York macho man. It has enough twists and turns to keep you interested, and the ending is enjoyably low key (if silly and implausible). One of those films that is enjoyable to watch, but in the memory is simply irritating.
54
Plot: Armed men take a NY subway train hostage. Gruff Transit police chief Matthau must negotiate with lead criminal Shaw.
---
People love this, don't they? I didn't think it was that great aside from a superb score and one or two clever ideas. It's certainly an efficient thriller but the criminals and tediously concieved, with Shaw in particular playing an eccentric psycho with clipped speech that wouldn't seem out of place in a straight to video Seagal film. Matthau, also, performs as a generic, weary and tough-but-nice New York macho man. It has enough twists and turns to keep you interested, and the ending is enjoyably low key (if silly and implausible). One of those films that is enjoyable to watch, but in the memory is simply irritating.
54
A Little Princess (Alfonso Cuaron, 1995)
With: Liesel Matthews, Eleanor Bron, Liam Cunningham
Plot: After the death of her father in the first World War, a young girl is confined to a New York boarding school, where she clashes with the harsh head mistress.
---
Surprisingly evocative for a kiddy film, with themes of death, loss and overcoming hopelessness propping up the story, rather than the girl's happy fantasy interludes. It may be just a little too cute for its own good, as is the lead character, but without indulging in some girly sentiment it would be far too harsh and upsetting for its target audience. As it is, this might be the best film I've seen that's engineered for young girls, with Cuaron keeping magic hiding at the edges rather than soaking everything in it. The tone is just right, walking the line between emotional fable and Dickensian melodrama. I would never have guessed that I'd like this, but I was really caught up in it.
66
Plot: After the death of her father in the first World War, a young girl is confined to a New York boarding school, where she clashes with the harsh head mistress.
---
Surprisingly evocative for a kiddy film, with themes of death, loss and overcoming hopelessness propping up the story, rather than the girl's happy fantasy interludes. It may be just a little too cute for its own good, as is the lead character, but without indulging in some girly sentiment it would be far too harsh and upsetting for its target audience. As it is, this might be the best film I've seen that's engineered for young girls, with Cuaron keeping magic hiding at the edges rather than soaking everything in it. The tone is just right, walking the line between emotional fable and Dickensian melodrama. I would never have guessed that I'd like this, but I was really caught up in it.
66
Tumbleweeds (Gavin O'Connor, 1999)
With: Janet Mcteer, Kimberly J Brown, Jay O Sanders, Gavin O'Connor
Plot: a cheery white trash mother (McTeer) moves from town to town with her daughter to escape failed relationships
---
Covers familiar ground (It's basically Anywhere But Here with more good will for the mother), but rich performances and an obvious familiarity with the scenario make it very enjoyable viewing. The relationships, especially that of mother and daughter, are well developed and realistic, which makes this slightly too typical slice of life feel somehow fresh and intriguing. McTeer carries the whole film on her shoulders, but the supporting cast are uniformly good, and the chemistry she has with Brown is what gives the film its heart.
63
Plot: a cheery white trash mother (McTeer) moves from town to town with her daughter to escape failed relationships
---
Covers familiar ground (It's basically Anywhere But Here with more good will for the mother), but rich performances and an obvious familiarity with the scenario make it very enjoyable viewing. The relationships, especially that of mother and daughter, are well developed and realistic, which makes this slightly too typical slice of life feel somehow fresh and intriguing. McTeer carries the whole film on her shoulders, but the supporting cast are uniformly good, and the chemistry she has with Brown is what gives the film its heart.
63
The Secret of Moonacre (Gabor Csupo, 2008)
With: Dakota Blue Richards, Juliet Stevenson, Ioan Grufford, Natascha McElhone, Tim Curry
Plot: Young Maria (Richards) moves in with her strange uncle (Grufford) after the death of her father, and is embroiled in a centruies-long family feud that will cause the world to end (or something) if it isn't resolved.
---
A boring fantasy without much actual fantasy until near the end. I really can't remember much of it now (got through it in several 15-20 min viewings) apart from cringeworthy humour and better-than-you'd-expect performances. Despite being pretty wooden and indifferent, Richards remains strangely compelling. Not awful, but strictly for the under 10s.
34
Plot: Young Maria (Richards) moves in with her strange uncle (Grufford) after the death of her father, and is embroiled in a centruies-long family feud that will cause the world to end (or something) if it isn't resolved.
---
A boring fantasy without much actual fantasy until near the end. I really can't remember much of it now (got through it in several 15-20 min viewings) apart from cringeworthy humour and better-than-you'd-expect performances. Despite being pretty wooden and indifferent, Richards remains strangely compelling. Not awful, but strictly for the under 10s.
34
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
The Fourth Kind (Olatunde Osunsanmi, 2009)
With: Milla Jovovich, Elias Koteas, Will Patton
Plot: The film purports to tell the true story of Abigail Tyler, whose ordeal with alien abduction in Nome, Alaska is shown in a dramatisation and also with several 'real' archive audio and video footage.
---
A tough one to judge, in many ways poor and derivative, it's also curiously memorable. I have to admit the obviously fake footage had me going for a little while, as the film executes the most elaborate hoax I've ever seen. It has not only the film's actual director in a mock-serious interview with Abigail Tyler (probably overplayed, and the leading cause of figuring out it's all fake), but also Jovovich sashays up to the camera, introduces herself and swears blind that what we're all about to see is true. A lot of this seems to be for marketing reasons (in the same way Blair Witch became legendary by fooling early viewers it was real), and it's a shame it isn't kept that way as there is just too much 'real' archive footage to be interesting or convincing, especially stuff like a man murdering his wife and child as police surround him, which obviously wouldn't have been recorded or allowed in a mass-market film. Aside from this gimmick, played with in 24-style split-screen effects that contrast the fake and real footage, there's little to really admire, apart from the usual alluring B-Movie presence of Jovovich and some nice footage of Alaska. Despite a lack of credibility and originality, it remains compelling in a way, and even had me looking on the internet when I got home to see if there was even a grain of truth in it.
51
Plot: The film purports to tell the true story of Abigail Tyler, whose ordeal with alien abduction in Nome, Alaska is shown in a dramatisation and also with several 'real' archive audio and video footage.
---
A tough one to judge, in many ways poor and derivative, it's also curiously memorable. I have to admit the obviously fake footage had me going for a little while, as the film executes the most elaborate hoax I've ever seen. It has not only the film's actual director in a mock-serious interview with Abigail Tyler (probably overplayed, and the leading cause of figuring out it's all fake), but also Jovovich sashays up to the camera, introduces herself and swears blind that what we're all about to see is true. A lot of this seems to be for marketing reasons (in the same way Blair Witch became legendary by fooling early viewers it was real), and it's a shame it isn't kept that way as there is just too much 'real' archive footage to be interesting or convincing, especially stuff like a man murdering his wife and child as police surround him, which obviously wouldn't have been recorded or allowed in a mass-market film. Aside from this gimmick, played with in 24-style split-screen effects that contrast the fake and real footage, there's little to really admire, apart from the usual alluring B-Movie presence of Jovovich and some nice footage of Alaska. Despite a lack of credibility and originality, it remains compelling in a way, and even had me looking on the internet when I got home to see if there was even a grain of truth in it.
51
The Men Who Stare at Goats (Grant Heslov, 2009)
With: George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey
Plot: A down-on-his-luck journalist (McGregor) follows a man (Clooney) who claims to be a goverment psychic soldier, reactivated for a mysterious new mission under the command of hippy squad leader Bill Django (Bridges).
---
I suppose it is a fairly interesting story, however much is true, but as a comedy its a bit of a failure. Heslov adapts the clinicallly humorous slideshow style of directors like Alexander Payne and Jason Reitman, but fills them with nothing worth watching. That's perhaps a bit harsh, as the film is a pleasant enough watch with a perfectly cast (if underused) Bridges and Clooney having fun as we wonder whether his character is insane or a genius. There's an air of self-satisfaction about the whole thing though, as if it thinks it is satirising the story rather than just ploddingly telling it with awkwardly packed flashbacks. By the end the film wants you to believe that a transformative journey ending with a cathartic epiphany has taken place, but it's too muddled and (I suspect) meaningless to know what all the fuss is about. Such an unusual story deserves more than a lightweight road movie.
49
Plot: A down-on-his-luck journalist (McGregor) follows a man (Clooney) who claims to be a goverment psychic soldier, reactivated for a mysterious new mission under the command of hippy squad leader Bill Django (Bridges).
---
I suppose it is a fairly interesting story, however much is true, but as a comedy its a bit of a failure. Heslov adapts the clinicallly humorous slideshow style of directors like Alexander Payne and Jason Reitman, but fills them with nothing worth watching. That's perhaps a bit harsh, as the film is a pleasant enough watch with a perfectly cast (if underused) Bridges and Clooney having fun as we wonder whether his character is insane or a genius. There's an air of self-satisfaction about the whole thing though, as if it thinks it is satirising the story rather than just ploddingly telling it with awkwardly packed flashbacks. By the end the film wants you to believe that a transformative journey ending with a cathartic epiphany has taken place, but it's too muddled and (I suspect) meaningless to know what all the fuss is about. Such an unusual story deserves more than a lightweight road movie.
49
End of Days (Peter Hyams, 1999)
With: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gabriel Byrne, Robin Tunney, Kevin Pollak, Miriam Margoyles
Plot: The devil returns to earth in human form (Byrne) just in time to impregnate his chosen one (Tunney) in time for the millennium. A tough ex-alcoholic (Arnie) must stop him somehow.
---
A load of nonsense, though at least most of it is structured like a police caper rather than a portentous satanist horror (though there's that as well, and it's very generic). With its chequered past, this is a role Schwarzenegger obviously thinks he can really get his teeth into, but he just comes off as more lethargic and inanimate than usual (he was getting older at this point I suppose). The hilarious depiction of the devil is what really majkes the film (almost) worth watching, being as he is a leering, tit-grabbing womaniser, and Byrne slips into this ridiculous role surprisingly well. Too predictable and too long to be as fun as it should, Arnie completists might still have more fun with it than they expected.
41
Plot: The devil returns to earth in human form (Byrne) just in time to impregnate his chosen one (Tunney) in time for the millennium. A tough ex-alcoholic (Arnie) must stop him somehow.
---
A load of nonsense, though at least most of it is structured like a police caper rather than a portentous satanist horror (though there's that as well, and it's very generic). With its chequered past, this is a role Schwarzenegger obviously thinks he can really get his teeth into, but he just comes off as more lethargic and inanimate than usual (he was getting older at this point I suppose). The hilarious depiction of the devil is what really majkes the film (almost) worth watching, being as he is a leering, tit-grabbing womaniser, and Byrne slips into this ridiculous role surprisingly well. Too predictable and too long to be as fun as it should, Arnie completists might still have more fun with it than they expected.
41
Circque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (Paul Weitz, 2009)
With: John C Reilly, Chris Massoglia, Josh Hutcherson, Salma Hayek, Willem Dafoe, Ken Watanabe, Patrick Fugit
Plot: Two best friends join two opposing factions of vampires. We follow the friend with the good vampire (Reilly), who works in a travelling freak show.
---
A very laboured-feeling origin film, with typical training montages and a seriously miscast Reilly over-enunciating his way through cardboard exposition and back-story. Worse even than him is Massoglia in the lead, barely even seeming awake, and Hutcherson trying too hard as the especially poorly written best friend who turns to the dark side. The story is one big explanation and build up, and the climax is weak beyond belief. A non-starter in pretty much all ways though it has its pleasures here and there, such as the Cronenberg-esque circus creaks, Dafoe at his hammy best as a classic vampire, and a great animated title sequence at the beginning.
35
Plot: Two best friends join two opposing factions of vampires. We follow the friend with the good vampire (Reilly), who works in a travelling freak show.
---
A very laboured-feeling origin film, with typical training montages and a seriously miscast Reilly over-enunciating his way through cardboard exposition and back-story. Worse even than him is Massoglia in the lead, barely even seeming awake, and Hutcherson trying too hard as the especially poorly written best friend who turns to the dark side. The story is one big explanation and build up, and the climax is weak beyond belief. A non-starter in pretty much all ways though it has its pleasures here and there, such as the Cronenberg-esque circus creaks, Dafoe at his hammy best as a classic vampire, and a great animated title sequence at the beginning.
35
Fantastic Mr. Fox (Wes Anderson, 2009)
With: George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Willem Dafoe, Michael Gambon
Plot: An over-achieving family-fox (Clooney) runs foul of farmers Boggis, Bunce and Bean when robbing their farms, while his son (Schwartzman) struggles to be acknowledged by him.
---
I wondered how Anderson would put his stamp on this with it being a different medium and pre-existing story, but it fits right in with the rest of his films. All his hallmarks are here, from the hyper-designed chocolate-box visuals, litany of troubled passive-agressive characters and the familiar if cheerier-than-usual theme of an eccentric, somewhat distant father. This being a cartoon, all these quirks feel much more at home than usual and what once might have been annoying now feels appropriate and often hilarious. People who find Anderson's arch, zany tone will still probably be put off though. Personally I enjoyed it a lot, it's an immediate if lightweight alternative to his more morose but probably better other films.
69
Plot: An over-achieving family-fox (Clooney) runs foul of farmers Boggis, Bunce and Bean when robbing their farms, while his son (Schwartzman) struggles to be acknowledged by him.
---
I wondered how Anderson would put his stamp on this with it being a different medium and pre-existing story, but it fits right in with the rest of his films. All his hallmarks are here, from the hyper-designed chocolate-box visuals, litany of troubled passive-agressive characters and the familiar if cheerier-than-usual theme of an eccentric, somewhat distant father. This being a cartoon, all these quirks feel much more at home than usual and what once might have been annoying now feels appropriate and often hilarious. People who find Anderson's arch, zany tone will still probably be put off though. Personally I enjoyed it a lot, it's an immediate if lightweight alternative to his more morose but probably better other films.
69
Road House (Rowdy Herrington, 1989)
With: Patrick Swayze, Kelly Lynch, Sam Elliott, Ben Gazzara
Plot: A Legendary bouncer (Swayze) is called upon tofix up a legendarily violent bar, once there he battles local gangaster Gazzara.
---
Hugely entertaining piece of macho fawning, with Swayze as some sort of mystic warrior who practices Tai-Chi by the river at sunrise and actually says things like "It's my way or the highway". Every caricature here is lovingly exaggarated and the violence is surprisingly full on at times, considering the early brawls look like live-action versions of a cartoon whirlwind of fists. Silly all the way, but silly with conviction.
60
Plot: A Legendary bouncer (Swayze) is called upon tofix up a legendarily violent bar, once there he battles local gangaster Gazzara.
---
Hugely entertaining piece of macho fawning, with Swayze as some sort of mystic warrior who practices Tai-Chi by the river at sunrise and actually says things like "It's my way or the highway". Every caricature here is lovingly exaggarated and the violence is surprisingly full on at times, considering the early brawls look like live-action versions of a cartoon whirlwind of fists. Silly all the way, but silly with conviction.
60
I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer (Sylvain White, 2006)
With: No-one worth typing
Plot: A group of kids play a prank that goes wrong and results in the death of their friend. A year later, a mysterious killer seems to be stalking the friends in revenge.
---
For anyone confused by the title, this is the straight to DVD 3rd in the series, and barely connected to the two Jennifer Love Hewitt originals. In places it seems like a surprisingly atmospheric slasher, but without fail, every scene is ruined by horrible epileptic editing and overwrought sound design. Besides from this the characters here are as useless and dislikeable as you can get, so it's a shame watching them get killed isn't any fun. Barely functional.
21
Plot: A group of kids play a prank that goes wrong and results in the death of their friend. A year later, a mysterious killer seems to be stalking the friends in revenge.
---
For anyone confused by the title, this is the straight to DVD 3rd in the series, and barely connected to the two Jennifer Love Hewitt originals. In places it seems like a surprisingly atmospheric slasher, but without fail, every scene is ruined by horrible epileptic editing and overwrought sound design. Besides from this the characters here are as useless and dislikeable as you can get, so it's a shame watching them get killed isn't any fun. Barely functional.
21
Shadow Man (Michael Keusch, 2006)
With: Steven Seagal, Eva Pope, Imelda Staunton, Trevor the rapist from Eastenders.
Plot: When ex-CIA something Seagal's daughter is kidnapped, he teams up with a framed something-or-other agent (Pope) to get her back.
---
Like many later Seagal films, this has a ridiculously labyrinthine plot with loads of different villains and past allies and past adversaries that is too much to keep up with, especially as it's all so boring. There's a bit more martial arts here than some of his recent stuff, and he seems much more at ease with the role and other actors (Seagal often seems awkward in contrast with other people). Still rubbish though, if you want to watch an amusingly poor Seagal vehicle, this isn't the one.
20
Plot: When ex-CIA something Seagal's daughter is kidnapped, he teams up with a framed something-or-other agent (Pope) to get her back.
---
Like many later Seagal films, this has a ridiculously labyrinthine plot with loads of different villains and past allies and past adversaries that is too much to keep up with, especially as it's all so boring. There's a bit more martial arts here than some of his recent stuff, and he seems much more at ease with the role and other actors (Seagal often seems awkward in contrast with other people). Still rubbish though, if you want to watch an amusingly poor Seagal vehicle, this isn't the one.
20
The Haunting in Connecticut (Peter Cornwell, 2009)
With: Virginia Madsen, Kyle Gallner, Elias Koteas, Amanda Crew, Martin Donovan.
Plot: A family moves into an old isolated house for the sake of their ill son (Gallner), the house turns out to be a former mortuary and is possessed/haunted.
---
The type of drudgingly familiar flash-bang horror that is usually sent straight to DVD these days. Madsen has some conviction but the characters are thin and the scares are cheaply done and repetitive. Framing the whole story with an interview to make it seem realistic fails badly, the crass presentation and murky style creating hysterics that make the whole thing wholly unconvincing. There's a sad story of a dying boy struggling to control himself under malevolent forces, but it's too hidden under all the crap.
31
Plot: A family moves into an old isolated house for the sake of their ill son (Gallner), the house turns out to be a former mortuary and is possessed/haunted.
---
The type of drudgingly familiar flash-bang horror that is usually sent straight to DVD these days. Madsen has some conviction but the characters are thin and the scares are cheaply done and repetitive. Framing the whole story with an interview to make it seem realistic fails badly, the crass presentation and murky style creating hysterics that make the whole thing wholly unconvincing. There's a sad story of a dying boy struggling to control himself under malevolent forces, but it's too hidden under all the crap.
31
Monday, 2 November 2009
Twilight (Robert Benton,1998)
With: Paul Newman, Gene Hackman, Susan Sarandon, James Garner, Stockard Channing, Reese Witherspoon
Plot: Newman plays an aging private eye with close ties to a faded actor couple (Hackman, Sarandon). He is caught up in a murder plot when asked to deliver some blackmail money.
---
A basic noir (and I've hardly seen any, so that must mean it's particularly basic), but very effective and polished. LA, as captured here, is a sun-faded city of past glory and shadows, its characters fitting so thematically into place within it. Nothing special plot wise, but what gives this the edge is the themes implied by the title, this is a story about looking back on your achievements and sins, all the characters being old, even dying. Through this it achieves a very melancholy tone, and the importance (or disregard) with which its characters hold morality in makes for a simple plot with surprising depth. A little corny maybe, and often formulaic, but a treat for those who enjoy the genre.
65
Plot: Newman plays an aging private eye with close ties to a faded actor couple (Hackman, Sarandon). He is caught up in a murder plot when asked to deliver some blackmail money.
---
A basic noir (and I've hardly seen any, so that must mean it's particularly basic), but very effective and polished. LA, as captured here, is a sun-faded city of past glory and shadows, its characters fitting so thematically into place within it. Nothing special plot wise, but what gives this the edge is the themes implied by the title, this is a story about looking back on your achievements and sins, all the characters being old, even dying. Through this it achieves a very melancholy tone, and the importance (or disregard) with which its characters hold morality in makes for a simple plot with surprising depth. A little corny maybe, and often formulaic, but a treat for those who enjoy the genre.
65
Let the Right One In (Tomas Alfredson, 2008)
With: Kare Hedebrant, Lina Leandersson
Plot: 12 year old Oskar meets and befriends a young vampire girl (actually 212). As the two are overwhelmed by first love, they cling to each other to escape very different empty home lives.
---
The whole thing looks gorgeous and emotional moments are played exactly right, with a chilly quiet hanging over every scene. These are the only two things this film gets properly right, but it gets them so right that it's very easy to overlook it's faults, greatest of which is its ridiculously overpacked story which wants to be gritty and naturalistic as well as gothic romantic. Throw in some could-be-any-film gore and horror (but it's arty cos they did it in a really long shot, right?) and you've got a big, restless film. It's testament to the main tentative yet whole-hearted romance that it keeps the film often feeling like a masterpiece, crowded in as it is with absent fathers, terrible pasts, standing up to the bullies and a thousand other things. I'd really like to see it again, despite it being uneven, and I look forward to Alfredson's next film.
70
Plot: 12 year old Oskar meets and befriends a young vampire girl (actually 212). As the two are overwhelmed by first love, they cling to each other to escape very different empty home lives.
---
The whole thing looks gorgeous and emotional moments are played exactly right, with a chilly quiet hanging over every scene. These are the only two things this film gets properly right, but it gets them so right that it's very easy to overlook it's faults, greatest of which is its ridiculously overpacked story which wants to be gritty and naturalistic as well as gothic romantic. Throw in some could-be-any-film gore and horror (but it's arty cos they did it in a really long shot, right?) and you've got a big, restless film. It's testament to the main tentative yet whole-hearted romance that it keeps the film often feeling like a masterpiece, crowded in as it is with absent fathers, terrible pasts, standing up to the bullies and a thousand other things. I'd really like to see it again, despite it being uneven, and I look forward to Alfredson's next film.
70
The Hurt Locker (Kathryn Bigelow, 2008)
With: Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Brian Geraghty, Guy Pierce, Ralph Fiennes
Plot: The film follows a month in the life of a US army bomb squad in Baghdad
---
Reviews of this misled me to think that it was so tense that you might very well shit yourself in the cinema as you watch. Really, it's not that bad at all, in terms of action and suspense the intensity will be familiar to those who have watched any war film of the last decade (Or even a series of 24). What's important is what it's characters are getting from these experiences, and the paranoid, adrenaline-driven mindset that they develop and find it difficult to disregard once home. This film doesn't talk through the issues of war, and the motives and politics of this particular war are entirely absent here, which really is a blessing, so the gradual psychological shaping of the characters can flourish (very subtly handled, no-one really changes, but through behaviour and an excellent evocation of life in a warzone, we understand that they have already changed). Even though it's purely a character arc, rather than a traditional plot, Bigelow never includes anything melodramatic (no big nervous breakdowns) or sentimental. As gripping as reviews said, but also much more studied than you'd expect.
75
Plot: The film follows a month in the life of a US army bomb squad in Baghdad
---
Reviews of this misled me to think that it was so tense that you might very well shit yourself in the cinema as you watch. Really, it's not that bad at all, in terms of action and suspense the intensity will be familiar to those who have watched any war film of the last decade (Or even a series of 24). What's important is what it's characters are getting from these experiences, and the paranoid, adrenaline-driven mindset that they develop and find it difficult to disregard once home. This film doesn't talk through the issues of war, and the motives and politics of this particular war are entirely absent here, which really is a blessing, so the gradual psychological shaping of the characters can flourish (very subtly handled, no-one really changes, but through behaviour and an excellent evocation of life in a warzone, we understand that they have already changed). Even though it's purely a character arc, rather than a traditional plot, Bigelow never includes anything melodramatic (no big nervous breakdowns) or sentimental. As gripping as reviews said, but also much more studied than you'd expect.
75
The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus (Terry Gilliam, 2009)
With: Christopher Plummer, Heath Ledger, Lily Cole, Tom Waits, Andrew Garfield, Verne Troyer
Plot: Dr Parnussas (Plummer) is an immortal showman with a mirror transporting people into a world of their imagination. He must win a bet with the devil (Waits) to save his daughter (Cole).
---
Very confusing, and its non-stop invention is sort of frustrating to watch even if it should be given credit, like listening to Quentin Tarrantino talk (if he were a hardcore Terry Pratchet fan anyway). I've never been a Gilliam fan, and here he indulges in his favourite (my least favourite) cinematic theme: the power of imagination. Nothing wrong with that in theory, and this adds an interesting life or death (or worse, endless life) consequence to where people's imagination take them, but as with other films that take on this idea, the execution is meandering and self-satisfied. The garish visuals are half impressive, half very cheap and most of the performances are cringingly over-mannered. If you like stuff like Baron Munchausen and Brazil, this film sees Gilliam in his familiar element, for me it's more reminders why I don't really like his films.
45
Plot: Dr Parnussas (Plummer) is an immortal showman with a mirror transporting people into a world of their imagination. He must win a bet with the devil (Waits) to save his daughter (Cole).
---
Very confusing, and its non-stop invention is sort of frustrating to watch even if it should be given credit, like listening to Quentin Tarrantino talk (if he were a hardcore Terry Pratchet fan anyway). I've never been a Gilliam fan, and here he indulges in his favourite (my least favourite) cinematic theme: the power of imagination. Nothing wrong with that in theory, and this adds an interesting life or death (or worse, endless life) consequence to where people's imagination take them, but as with other films that take on this idea, the execution is meandering and self-satisfied. The garish visuals are half impressive, half very cheap and most of the performances are cringingly over-mannered. If you like stuff like Baron Munchausen and Brazil, this film sees Gilliam in his familiar element, for me it's more reminders why I don't really like his films.
45
Tuesday, 27 October 2009
Up (Pete Docter, 2009)
With: Edward Asner, Jordan Nagai, Christopher Plummer, Bob Peterson
Plot: Needing a change of direction after the death of his wife and renovation of his neighbourhood, old man Carl Frederickson (Asner) attaches hundreds of balloons to his house in hopes of floating to a legendary falls in Costa Rica, unwittingly transporting a determined young boy scout in the process.
---
Absolutely the most wildly veering and random plot Pixar have ever had, it almost seems like they're making it up as they go along, but it's no worse for it, and the unpredictable, adventurous nature suits the themes and atmosphere of the story. Settings are lushly realised and characters animated with flawless personality and nuance as you would expect (the dogs are endlessly funny to watch). I can't think of a single thing like it, and it manages to spin several odd-couple dynamics without seeming hackneyed. Basically, it's great, my only complaint is that Carl doesn't really seem old enough, often achieving near super-human feats of strength and reaction. Despite this discrepancy, and also the whirlwind plot, the emotional undercurrent remains firmly strong and consistent throughout, building to a well-earned, heart-warming finale.
80
Plot: Needing a change of direction after the death of his wife and renovation of his neighbourhood, old man Carl Frederickson (Asner) attaches hundreds of balloons to his house in hopes of floating to a legendary falls in Costa Rica, unwittingly transporting a determined young boy scout in the process.
---
Absolutely the most wildly veering and random plot Pixar have ever had, it almost seems like they're making it up as they go along, but it's no worse for it, and the unpredictable, adventurous nature suits the themes and atmosphere of the story. Settings are lushly realised and characters animated with flawless personality and nuance as you would expect (the dogs are endlessly funny to watch). I can't think of a single thing like it, and it manages to spin several odd-couple dynamics without seeming hackneyed. Basically, it's great, my only complaint is that Carl doesn't really seem old enough, often achieving near super-human feats of strength and reaction. Despite this discrepancy, and also the whirlwind plot, the emotional undercurrent remains firmly strong and consistent throughout, building to a well-earned, heart-warming finale.
80
Halloween 2 (Rob Zombie, 2009)
With: Malcolm McDowell, Scout Taylor-Compton, Sherri-Moon Zombie, Brad Dourif, Tyler Mane
Plot: Exactly one year after trying to track down and kill his only remaining sister (Taylor-Compton), seemingly invincible killing machine Michael Myers (Mane) comes back to try again.
---
People on the internet seem to really hate Zombie's Halloween's, I seem to remember enjoying his original remake enough while not thinking it was particularly good, and the same goes here. It's better than the original Halloween 2, with Zombie bringing his unique flavour of on-the-fringes society as extras, victims and helpers, and a genuinely filthy aesthetic, with industrial horror soundscapes and grungy visuals pounding away like Myers' brutally relentless killing. Otherwise there's nothing special about it, certainly a competently constructed slasher with no real ambitions, unlike the first remake's slightly awkward backstory for Michael. Though this film does get a similarly unsatisfying strand, with the bafflingly pointless sub-story of Myers' former psychiatrist McDowell touring the country with his exploitive new book, suddenly turning hysterical at the end when he tries to battle Michael. When all's said and done I wouldn't mind seeing a third one really, though it would be more fun to see Zombie using his imagination for a new story to use his visceral style.
50
Plot: Exactly one year after trying to track down and kill his only remaining sister (Taylor-Compton), seemingly invincible killing machine Michael Myers (Mane) comes back to try again.
---
People on the internet seem to really hate Zombie's Halloween's, I seem to remember enjoying his original remake enough while not thinking it was particularly good, and the same goes here. It's better than the original Halloween 2, with Zombie bringing his unique flavour of on-the-fringes society as extras, victims and helpers, and a genuinely filthy aesthetic, with industrial horror soundscapes and grungy visuals pounding away like Myers' brutally relentless killing. Otherwise there's nothing special about it, certainly a competently constructed slasher with no real ambitions, unlike the first remake's slightly awkward backstory for Michael. Though this film does get a similarly unsatisfying strand, with the bafflingly pointless sub-story of Myers' former psychiatrist McDowell touring the country with his exploitive new book, suddenly turning hysterical at the end when he tries to battle Michael. When all's said and done I wouldn't mind seeing a third one really, though it would be more fun to see Zombie using his imagination for a new story to use his visceral style.
50
Triangle (Christopher Smith, 2009)
With: Melissa George, imdb isn't working so I can't name any of the others
Plot: The harried mother of an autistic boy takes a great leap when she agrees to go on a date in a friend's yaught, but the boat ends up in the middle of a storm and George and friends must take refuge on a mysteriously abandoned cruise ship, which is playing host to the same horrific events on an endless loop.
---
It seems fairly unassuming, if well handled at first, but this soon grows into a mind-blowing labyrinthe of horror, complicated and with constantly morphing meaning (first a slasher, then a ghost story, then a psychological punishment), but utterly satisfying. The importance of details is never overstated, letting us forget about many of the film's twists and loose ends until they are resolved and given shocking new contexts as the plot twists back on itself. I'm maybe overrating it a bit, for those not interested in marvelling at such a watertight cobweb of a plot and wondering at the psychological meaning of it all, this will come across as an efficiently scary but somewhat impenetrable standard horror ghost train. It had me thinking about it for a couple of days though.
75
Plot: The harried mother of an autistic boy takes a great leap when she agrees to go on a date in a friend's yaught, but the boat ends up in the middle of a storm and George and friends must take refuge on a mysteriously abandoned cruise ship, which is playing host to the same horrific events on an endless loop.
---
It seems fairly unassuming, if well handled at first, but this soon grows into a mind-blowing labyrinthe of horror, complicated and with constantly morphing meaning (first a slasher, then a ghost story, then a psychological punishment), but utterly satisfying. The importance of details is never overstated, letting us forget about many of the film's twists and loose ends until they are resolved and given shocking new contexts as the plot twists back on itself. I'm maybe overrating it a bit, for those not interested in marvelling at such a watertight cobweb of a plot and wondering at the psychological meaning of it all, this will come across as an efficiently scary but somewhat impenetrable standard horror ghost train. It had me thinking about it for a couple of days though.
75
Couples Retreat (Peter Billingham, 2009)
Cast: Vince Vaughan, Jon Favreau, Jason Bateman, Kristen Bell, Malin Akerman, Kristin Davis, Jean Reno
Plot: Three couples travel to a world-renowned exotic resort which specialises in new-age couples therapy. Barely comedic hijinks ensure.
---
As bland and fake as a comedy can get, though it's at least a bit funnier and less head-achingly pointless than the last couple of Vince Vaughan vehicles. This one also 'beneifts' from his tiresome motormouth routine, though the cast surrounding him are likeable, despite their thinly drawn characters. This treads an awkward line between sentimental relationship film and wacky mix of therapy satire and holiday slapstick. The plot gets really, really stupid and lazy later on (the logic nadir being when divorcee Faizon Love inexplicably bumps into his long-gone ex-wife on the retreat), but before that it's fairly harmless, even if it struggles to even raise a smile. The only laughs it does manage are from a colourful, well-acted trio of staff caricatures: Peter Seranefowicz's magisterial resort manager, John Michael Higgins as an easily horrified therapist and Carlos Ponce as the over-tactile yoga instructor ("Encouragement!"). not sure why Jean Reno turned up though.
40
Plot: Three couples travel to a world-renowned exotic resort which specialises in new-age couples therapy. Barely comedic hijinks ensure.
---
As bland and fake as a comedy can get, though it's at least a bit funnier and less head-achingly pointless than the last couple of Vince Vaughan vehicles. This one also 'beneifts' from his tiresome motormouth routine, though the cast surrounding him are likeable, despite their thinly drawn characters. This treads an awkward line between sentimental relationship film and wacky mix of therapy satire and holiday slapstick. The plot gets really, really stupid and lazy later on (the logic nadir being when divorcee Faizon Love inexplicably bumps into his long-gone ex-wife on the retreat), but before that it's fairly harmless, even if it struggles to even raise a smile. The only laughs it does manage are from a colourful, well-acted trio of staff caricatures: Peter Seranefowicz's magisterial resort manager, John Michael Higgins as an easily horrified therapist and Carlos Ponce as the over-tactile yoga instructor ("Encouragement!"). not sure why Jean Reno turned up though.
40
Sunday, 25 October 2009
Watchmen (Zack Snyder, 2009)
With: Jackie Earl Haley, Billy Crudup, Patrick Wilson, Malin Akerman, Matthew Goode, Jeffrey Dean Morgan
Plot: I really can't be bothered with the whole set-up, but it's an alternate 1985 where costumed superheroes existed but have now retreated to normality after a public backlash, when one of their ranks is murdered it sends another one of them into his own investigation.
---
Obviously a good, rich story and also a slightly better film than I expected. I haven't read the graphic novel, and don't really agree that this adaptation is too slavishly faithful, as it never seemed over-indulgent in length and plot to me. It is sort of a mess though, veering tonally from goofy hero caper to soul-searching, super-serious satire of mankind. This isn't helped by the cast who are uniformly weak (Haley is alright as Rorschach, but why the constant batman-esque gravelly drawl?) and undermine most of the serious stuff, but Snyder keeps a surprisingly coherent handle on things, despite some cartoonish moments of gore and more overuse of his precious slo-mo. The ending is a bit of a let down after so much portentous build-up, but it's too weird and visually zippy to ever become boring. Points taken off for crashingly obvious and inappropriate soundtrack choices (including the rubbish score) and for the wise character (Dr Manhattan I think) who picks on shoping malls as a banal evil of the world. Why do filmmakers have it in for shopping malls so much?
60
Plot: I really can't be bothered with the whole set-up, but it's an alternate 1985 where costumed superheroes existed but have now retreated to normality after a public backlash, when one of their ranks is murdered it sends another one of them into his own investigation.
---
Obviously a good, rich story and also a slightly better film than I expected. I haven't read the graphic novel, and don't really agree that this adaptation is too slavishly faithful, as it never seemed over-indulgent in length and plot to me. It is sort of a mess though, veering tonally from goofy hero caper to soul-searching, super-serious satire of mankind. This isn't helped by the cast who are uniformly weak (Haley is alright as Rorschach, but why the constant batman-esque gravelly drawl?) and undermine most of the serious stuff, but Snyder keeps a surprisingly coherent handle on things, despite some cartoonish moments of gore and more overuse of his precious slo-mo. The ending is a bit of a let down after so much portentous build-up, but it's too weird and visually zippy to ever become boring. Points taken off for crashingly obvious and inappropriate soundtrack choices (including the rubbish score) and for the wise character (Dr Manhattan I think) who picks on shoping malls as a banal evil of the world. Why do filmmakers have it in for shopping malls so much?
60
Zombieland (Ruben Fleischer, 2009)
With: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin
Plot: An alternate present day where 99% of the world's population have become zombies, strangers Eisenberg and Harrelson team up with con-team sisters Stone and Breslin to try and reach a safe haven.
---
Never a dull moment, and it rockets by in only 80 minutes, but I still thought it could have been better, this feeling is strengthened by the fact that everything this film does try and do it does very well. The laying out of Eisenberg's 'rules of survival' as actual text popping up on the screen could be overly cute, but his dry performance and likeable observations make such moments enjoyable. Despite being a comedy it's properly gory and manages decent tension when it needs to, and the main quartet of survivors are all well acted and written, though the girls are typically more throwaway than the boys. You could say it does everything right, but there's too much untapped potential, such as the extended Bill Murray cameo, which is very funny but so easily could have been hilarious. I should just be thankful that it's a very enjoyable comedy horror, it's just that it seems a few steps away from greatness.
63
Plot: An alternate present day where 99% of the world's population have become zombies, strangers Eisenberg and Harrelson team up with con-team sisters Stone and Breslin to try and reach a safe haven.
---
Never a dull moment, and it rockets by in only 80 minutes, but I still thought it could have been better, this feeling is strengthened by the fact that everything this film does try and do it does very well. The laying out of Eisenberg's 'rules of survival' as actual text popping up on the screen could be overly cute, but his dry performance and likeable observations make such moments enjoyable. Despite being a comedy it's properly gory and manages decent tension when it needs to, and the main quartet of survivors are all well acted and written, though the girls are typically more throwaway than the boys. You could say it does everything right, but there's too much untapped potential, such as the extended Bill Murray cameo, which is very funny but so easily could have been hilarious. I should just be thankful that it's a very enjoyable comedy horror, it's just that it seems a few steps away from greatness.
63
Pandorum (Christian Alvart, 2009)
With: Dennis Quaid, Ben Foster, Cam Gigandet, Antje Traue
Plot: A pair of crewmen (Quaid and Foster) wake up from suspended animation on an apparently abandoned spaceship, with no idea of who they are or what their mission is.
---
I can see how some people, particularly those who don't like horror, would think this was absolutely terrible. The plot is pretty weak and the film's action is very repetitive, with overwrought editing and music. It's one of the more effective cinematic nightmares of this year though, with the claustrophobic visuals and garishly light and dark colour palette making for a viscerally unsettling experience. The monsters, when they appear are vague in appearance and move like a stop-motion animation on extreme fast forward. Basically a rubbish script but it's wonderfully terrifying and creates an uneasy nausea not through gore but an excellently sustained atmosphere, and the ending really feels like a long-awaited release. I'm still not sure I'd classify it as a really good film, but it's a memorable experience.
56
Plot: A pair of crewmen (Quaid and Foster) wake up from suspended animation on an apparently abandoned spaceship, with no idea of who they are or what their mission is.
---
I can see how some people, particularly those who don't like horror, would think this was absolutely terrible. The plot is pretty weak and the film's action is very repetitive, with overwrought editing and music. It's one of the more effective cinematic nightmares of this year though, with the claustrophobic visuals and garishly light and dark colour palette making for a viscerally unsettling experience. The monsters, when they appear are vague in appearance and move like a stop-motion animation on extreme fast forward. Basically a rubbish script but it's wonderfully terrifying and creates an uneasy nausea not through gore but an excellently sustained atmosphere, and the ending really feels like a long-awaited release. I'm still not sure I'd classify it as a really good film, but it's a memorable experience.
56
Thieves Like Us (Robert Altman, 1974)
With: Keith Carradine, Shelley Duvall, John Schuck, Bert Remsen, Louise Fletcher
Plot: Three criminals unite for a bank-robbing spree, the youngest (Carradine) falling in love with a girl from their hideout (Duvall), the other two facing different lives when all three become the most wanted thieves in Mississippi.
---
Like so many Altman films, a lot of time is spent watching this wandering what genre it fits into, I settled on doomed romance. Carradine and Duvall are both excellent as the couple so in love but so clearly wrong for each other, who form the film's only really notable story arc, as the ruminations of the other two, one happy and in love, the other a glory-chasing alcoholic are slotted in almost randomly to create an approximation of real life. Altman's matter-of-fact handling of the robberies keeps the film from falling into overtly dramatic territory, the whole thing coming off as a bittersweet slice of 1930s life. Charming and affecting.
74
Plot: Three criminals unite for a bank-robbing spree, the youngest (Carradine) falling in love with a girl from their hideout (Duvall), the other two facing different lives when all three become the most wanted thieves in Mississippi.
---
Like so many Altman films, a lot of time is spent watching this wandering what genre it fits into, I settled on doomed romance. Carradine and Duvall are both excellent as the couple so in love but so clearly wrong for each other, who form the film's only really notable story arc, as the ruminations of the other two, one happy and in love, the other a glory-chasing alcoholic are slotted in almost randomly to create an approximation of real life. Altman's matter-of-fact handling of the robberies keeps the film from falling into overtly dramatic territory, the whole thing coming off as a bittersweet slice of 1930s life. Charming and affecting.
74
Joyeux Noel (Christian Carion, 2005)
With: Diane Kruger, Benno Furmann, Guillaume Canet, Danny Lewis, Daniel Bruhl
Plot: The true story of how, on christmas eve 1914, the French, Germans and English on the front line in France decided on a one day truce and came together to celebrate christmas.
---
Not bad, but for some reason I just never really got into this. It's an obviously uplifting story about spirit and the desire for peace momentarily transcending war, but it's not too sentimental and offers decent personal stories to flesh out all the different sides. Some people really love this, I just thought it was... quite nice.
51
Plot: The true story of how, on christmas eve 1914, the French, Germans and English on the front line in France decided on a one day truce and came together to celebrate christmas.
---
Not bad, but for some reason I just never really got into this. It's an obviously uplifting story about spirit and the desire for peace momentarily transcending war, but it's not too sentimental and offers decent personal stories to flesh out all the different sides. Some people really love this, I just thought it was... quite nice.
51
Monday, 12 October 2009
The Invention of Lying (Matthew Robinson & Ricky Gervais, 2009)
With: Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Louis CK, Rob Lowe, Jonah Hill
Plot: In a world where lying doesn't exist, one man (Gervais) suddenly thinks to do it, changing the world in the process.
---
A very strong concept for a comedy, but this just wastes it utterly. Even early on in the film when the rules of the world are being set up, you'll barely raise a smile at the sort-of-jokes on offer. Basically it's people being unnecessarily rude to each other (Why does telling the truth mean saying every horrible thing on your mind?) and this wears very thin as it is mostly only used for calling Gervais fat and ugly. Otherwise this boasts embarassingly bad structuring and plotting, with meaningless one-dimensional side characters like Hill's suicidal neighbour and the dying, confused mother flitting in and out of the story as Gervais desperately keeps spinning crap plates to distract from his non-plot. It gets worse when the film veers clumsily towards religious satire, with absolutely nothing to say on the subject, or on any subject for that matter (even lying!). I wasn't expecting a really well put together film, but I thought there might be some funny jokes at least, your best bet for entertainment here is trying to figure out who got paid the most: Coca Cola or Pizza Hut.
34
Plot: In a world where lying doesn't exist, one man (Gervais) suddenly thinks to do it, changing the world in the process.
---
A very strong concept for a comedy, but this just wastes it utterly. Even early on in the film when the rules of the world are being set up, you'll barely raise a smile at the sort-of-jokes on offer. Basically it's people being unnecessarily rude to each other (Why does telling the truth mean saying every horrible thing on your mind?) and this wears very thin as it is mostly only used for calling Gervais fat and ugly. Otherwise this boasts embarassingly bad structuring and plotting, with meaningless one-dimensional side characters like Hill's suicidal neighbour and the dying, confused mother flitting in and out of the story as Gervais desperately keeps spinning crap plates to distract from his non-plot. It gets worse when the film veers clumsily towards religious satire, with absolutely nothing to say on the subject, or on any subject for that matter (even lying!). I wasn't expecting a really well put together film, but I thought there might be some funny jokes at least, your best bet for entertainment here is trying to figure out who got paid the most: Coca Cola or Pizza Hut.
34
Sweet November (Robert Ellis Miller, 1968)
With: Sandy Dennis, Anthony Newley, Theodore Bikel, Burr DeBenning
Plot: Sara (Dennis) is a plucky neighbourhood lady who takes one man to live with her every month, as an extended therapy session to iron out their personal flaws. Her November man is Charlie (Newley), and the two fall in love.
---
I thought this was great most of the time, but the ending really spoiled it for me. not just because it's a sad ending but because it's one that bends and twists the characters and film's logic until they are unrecognisable just to achieve a sad ending. Also Sara can easily be interpreted as a somewhat insidious character, snaring in men to fall in love with her, shaping them naggingly until they fit her ideal of a good man, and then casting them off to find the next victim. A revelation late in the game is meant to justify this behaviour, even make it seem saintly, but to me it was infuriating that no-one ever calls her bluff. What a bitch! Other than this there's pretty much nothing wrong with this lovely comedy, Newley and Dennis are perfectly matched, with the latter doing all she can to mask her character's selfishness and succeeding quite well. It's all been soured in my mind by the end, but if I saw it on TV again I'd definitely rewatch most of it.
65
Plot: Sara (Dennis) is a plucky neighbourhood lady who takes one man to live with her every month, as an extended therapy session to iron out their personal flaws. Her November man is Charlie (Newley), and the two fall in love.
---
I thought this was great most of the time, but the ending really spoiled it for me. not just because it's a sad ending but because it's one that bends and twists the characters and film's logic until they are unrecognisable just to achieve a sad ending. Also Sara can easily be interpreted as a somewhat insidious character, snaring in men to fall in love with her, shaping them naggingly until they fit her ideal of a good man, and then casting them off to find the next victim. A revelation late in the game is meant to justify this behaviour, even make it seem saintly, but to me it was infuriating that no-one ever calls her bluff. What a bitch! Other than this there's pretty much nothing wrong with this lovely comedy, Newley and Dennis are perfectly matched, with the latter doing all she can to mask her character's selfishness and succeeding quite well. It's all been soured in my mind by the end, but if I saw it on TV again I'd definitely rewatch most of it.
65
A Fine Madness (Irvin Kershner, 1966)
Cast: Sean Connery, Joanne Woodward, Jason Seburg, Patrick O'Neil
Plot: Connery is a frustrated, womanising poet struggling to make a wage and pay his alimony. The film follows him on his misadventures.
---
Sort of a satire, sort of a farce, a very fun mix to watch though. It does begin to feel pretty strained and overly wacky by the end, but there are loads of highlights, not least Connery. You wouldn't pick him as your first choice to play a poet but he has a constant, weary rage which really works, and Woodward is equally good as his long suffering girlfriend. I'm not sure if it's making any point, Connery is an ultimately selfish and lazy creator, wishing to step on society in all walks to get his work done, but the film demonises the doctors and employers around him more. The film's tone is light and quick though, so this doesn't really matter and better to have a farce with just an undercurrent of intelligent thought than one with none at all.
62
Plot: Connery is a frustrated, womanising poet struggling to make a wage and pay his alimony. The film follows him on his misadventures.
---
Sort of a satire, sort of a farce, a very fun mix to watch though. It does begin to feel pretty strained and overly wacky by the end, but there are loads of highlights, not least Connery. You wouldn't pick him as your first choice to play a poet but he has a constant, weary rage which really works, and Woodward is equally good as his long suffering girlfriend. I'm not sure if it's making any point, Connery is an ultimately selfish and lazy creator, wishing to step on society in all walks to get his work done, but the film demonises the doctors and employers around him more. The film's tone is light and quick though, so this doesn't really matter and better to have a farce with just an undercurrent of intelligent thought than one with none at all.
62
Disco Pigs (Kirsten Sheridan, 2001)
With: Elaine Cassidy, Cillian Murphy, Darren Healy, Brian F. O'Byrne, Eleanor Methven
Plot: Pig (Murphy) and runt (Cassidy) are best friends since birth, do everything together, and speak in their own twisted version of the English language. as their parents worry and try to separate them, pig wants to take their relationship to the next level.
---
Very vivid and emotionally charged, but a bit uneven, and its problems get worse as it goes on. Murphy and Cassidy are both outstanding in very different roles, but in trying to create really, really (really) idosyncratic characters, writer Enda Walsh has made two exceptionally annoying characters, and it's mostly down to the cast that we care for or relate to them at all. The story ends predictably (with a really awful ten minutes slightly made up for by a good final five minutes) and not entirely convincingly. Memorable, but ultimately a little pointless.
56
Plot: Pig (Murphy) and runt (Cassidy) are best friends since birth, do everything together, and speak in their own twisted version of the English language. as their parents worry and try to separate them, pig wants to take their relationship to the next level.
---
Very vivid and emotionally charged, but a bit uneven, and its problems get worse as it goes on. Murphy and Cassidy are both outstanding in very different roles, but in trying to create really, really (really) idosyncratic characters, writer Enda Walsh has made two exceptionally annoying characters, and it's mostly down to the cast that we care for or relate to them at all. The story ends predictably (with a really awful ten minutes slightly made up for by a good final five minutes) and not entirely convincingly. Memorable, but ultimately a little pointless.
56
Marnie (Alfred Hitchcock, 1964)
With: Tippi Hedren, Sean Connery, Diane Baker, Martin Gable, Louise Latham
Plot: A kleptomaniac with a complex about ever being touched by a man (Hedren) is caught stealing from the work safe by her new boss (Connery) who then covers for her and blackmails her into marrying him.
---
For a while I was wondering whether this was a thriller or not, but it turned out to be a psychological romance. Hedren is great as a desperate, broken woman and Connery is perfectly cast as the suave, terse, yet caring man who becomes obsessed with her.Marnie seems fully formed as a character rather than a silly woman who's a danger to herself and others, and the films also invites us to judge Connery's character, and question his motives for loving a woman he'll never be able to trust, and acting as a harsh master as much as a husband. Maybe a bit overlong, and the reductive ending seems a bit neat, but it's still totally engrossing.
74
Plot: A kleptomaniac with a complex about ever being touched by a man (Hedren) is caught stealing from the work safe by her new boss (Connery) who then covers for her and blackmails her into marrying him.
---
For a while I was wondering whether this was a thriller or not, but it turned out to be a psychological romance. Hedren is great as a desperate, broken woman and Connery is perfectly cast as the suave, terse, yet caring man who becomes obsessed with her.Marnie seems fully formed as a character rather than a silly woman who's a danger to herself and others, and the films also invites us to judge Connery's character, and question his motives for loving a woman he'll never be able to trust, and acting as a harsh master as much as a husband. Maybe a bit overlong, and the reductive ending seems a bit neat, but it's still totally engrossing.
74
Waist Deep (Vondie Curtis-Hall, 2006)
With: Tyrese Gibson, Meagan Good, Darris Love, Larenz Tate
Plot: An ex-con (Gibson) must somehow raise £100,000 for ransom after his car is stolen with his son still in the back. He forces a woman who helped rob his car (Good) into helping him.
---
Very straightforward gangstas in LA thriller, the one thing that stands out is that it looks very nice (shot by the cinematographer that Christian Bale shouted at). Curtis-Hall seems to be trying hard to make up for Glitter and although one or two visual gimmicks are a bit overdone (the camera wandering around Gibson and Good's noses, eyebrows and mouths as they tell their weepy backstories is just silly) he mostly pulls it off. Gibson is also not too bad, but the film itself is mostly boring and the villains are too cartoonish. Aside from its looks it seems truly straight to DVD, even though it wasn't, which sums up how interesting it is.
36
Plot: An ex-con (Gibson) must somehow raise £100,000 for ransom after his car is stolen with his son still in the back. He forces a woman who helped rob his car (Good) into helping him.
---
Very straightforward gangstas in LA thriller, the one thing that stands out is that it looks very nice (shot by the cinematographer that Christian Bale shouted at). Curtis-Hall seems to be trying hard to make up for Glitter and although one or two visual gimmicks are a bit overdone (the camera wandering around Gibson and Good's noses, eyebrows and mouths as they tell their weepy backstories is just silly) he mostly pulls it off. Gibson is also not too bad, but the film itself is mostly boring and the villains are too cartoonish. Aside from its looks it seems truly straight to DVD, even though it wasn't, which sums up how interesting it is.
36
Requiem (Hans-Christian Schmid, 2006)
With: Sandra Huller, Burghart Klausner, Imogen Kogge, Anna Blomeier, Nicholas Reinke
Plot: Based on a true case that ruled in belief of demonic possession. Michaela (Huller) has a disabling history of epilepsy which seems to seep into psychosis. When she gets away from her controlling mother and loving father for the first time at university, her attacks and fits gets worse and more frequent, leading her to believe she is possessed.
---
Not a horror film at all, but an intimate drama that is surprisingly warm in places and for the most part functions as a perfectly balanced, brilliantly acted (Huller is excellent) character study of a girl finding her independence while battling a debilitating condition. When the film does raise the spectre of the devil it brings with it no doomy music or genre-styled filmmaking, just an intense sadness as you see the main character falling to pieces as she believes she has no hope. While the film's naturalistic style would suggest that Schmid does think it's all in her head, the answer is left open. The question of what is happening to her never seems to be the real focus though, her life shown in a series of jump cuts and snippets that by turns emotional, funny and harrowing.
84
Plot: Based on a true case that ruled in belief of demonic possession. Michaela (Huller) has a disabling history of epilepsy which seems to seep into psychosis. When she gets away from her controlling mother and loving father for the first time at university, her attacks and fits gets worse and more frequent, leading her to believe she is possessed.
---
Not a horror film at all, but an intimate drama that is surprisingly warm in places and for the most part functions as a perfectly balanced, brilliantly acted (Huller is excellent) character study of a girl finding her independence while battling a debilitating condition. When the film does raise the spectre of the devil it brings with it no doomy music or genre-styled filmmaking, just an intense sadness as you see the main character falling to pieces as she believes she has no hope. While the film's naturalistic style would suggest that Schmid does think it's all in her head, the answer is left open. The question of what is happening to her never seems to be the real focus though, her life shown in a series of jump cuts and snippets that by turns emotional, funny and harrowing.
84
Green Card (Peter Weir,1990)
With: Andie MacDowell, Gerard Depardieu, Bebe Neuwirth, Greg Edelman
Plot: A frenchman (Depardieu) marries a New York botanist (MacDowell) so he can get a green card to stay in the country, and so that she can move into an apartment with a greenhouse that only allows married couples. They go their separate ways but when Immigration comes investigating, they must learn everything about one another to fool them.
---
Unexpectedly pleasant, it even achieves the near impossible feat of making Andie Macdowell likeable, and its imposed typical romcom deception conceipt (where they get to like each other through pretending to like each other) is quite underplayed and lightly handled, unlike the shrieking contrivances of stuff like How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days. There's nothing groundbreaking about the tentative romance on display here, but it manages to feel quite natural, and you find yourself caring about the characters enough to make the ending properly sad. Pretty good.
61
Plot: A frenchman (Depardieu) marries a New York botanist (MacDowell) so he can get a green card to stay in the country, and so that she can move into an apartment with a greenhouse that only allows married couples. They go their separate ways but when Immigration comes investigating, they must learn everything about one another to fool them.
---
Unexpectedly pleasant, it even achieves the near impossible feat of making Andie Macdowell likeable, and its imposed typical romcom deception conceipt (where they get to like each other through pretending to like each other) is quite underplayed and lightly handled, unlike the shrieking contrivances of stuff like How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days. There's nothing groundbreaking about the tentative romance on display here, but it manages to feel quite natural, and you find yourself caring about the characters enough to make the ending properly sad. Pretty good.
61
Wednesday, 7 October 2009
It's Alive (Josef Rusnak, 2008)
With: Bijou Phillips, James Murray, Raphael Coleman, Ty Glaser
Plot: Young, pregnant Lenore Harker (Phillips), leaves university to settle down with her boyfriend and raise their abnormally large baby. The baby eats people.
---
I love Larry Cohen's original, and was pleased to see he got a writing credit on this, though it doesn't show. Whereas Cohen used the situation of a monster baby as a sly musing on male and female reactions to miscarriage, this has no sub-text. It's very spare and doesn't show the baby, aside from its hand, until the very end. At first this seems like a sign of good pacing, but when you see the horribly CGI'd face at the end you realise it's probably down to cost issues. It feels much too minor, again probably a budget problem, and its only real benefit is a committed performance from Phillips who really makes you see the sadness at the life she's given up to protect a monster from trouble. Other characters are cardboard cut-outs, there simply to be victims of the baby in scenes lacking in any tension or build up, it's always just the baby (who can move like a ninja) suddenly killing everything in the shot. It's very focused, no needless subplots and only 78 minutes long including credits, but too slight to enjoy even as a mindless horror.
29
Plot: Young, pregnant Lenore Harker (Phillips), leaves university to settle down with her boyfriend and raise their abnormally large baby. The baby eats people.
---
I love Larry Cohen's original, and was pleased to see he got a writing credit on this, though it doesn't show. Whereas Cohen used the situation of a monster baby as a sly musing on male and female reactions to miscarriage, this has no sub-text. It's very spare and doesn't show the baby, aside from its hand, until the very end. At first this seems like a sign of good pacing, but when you see the horribly CGI'd face at the end you realise it's probably down to cost issues. It feels much too minor, again probably a budget problem, and its only real benefit is a committed performance from Phillips who really makes you see the sadness at the life she's given up to protect a monster from trouble. Other characters are cardboard cut-outs, there simply to be victims of the baby in scenes lacking in any tension or build up, it's always just the baby (who can move like a ninja) suddenly killing everything in the shot. It's very focused, no needless subplots and only 78 minutes long including credits, but too slight to enjoy even as a mindless horror.
29
The Hand that Rocks the Cradle (Curtis Hanson, 1992)
With: Rebecca De Mornay, Annabella Sciorra, Matt McCoy, Ernie Hudson, Julianne Moore
Plot: An expectant mother (Sciorra) is molested by her gynaecologist, who kills himself in the resulting investigation. His wife (De Mornay) then takes a job as Sciorra's nanny, planning to ruin the family.
---
Thrillers like this are a guilty pleasure for me, and although it has its silly parts, it doesn't get as wacky as you'd expect.Perhaps because it was written by a woman, but for whatever reason it builds up the female psycho character surprisingly well, with good motivation helped by De Mornay's sympathetic performance. When it all comes down to it, she really is just another movie lunatic, though watching the games she plays and allegiences she forms with different family members makes for tense, relatively believable viewing. Hanson seems at his livliest when executing thriller cliches, like the murder (there's only one, odd for this sort of thing) and also indulges in my favourite thriller cliche, a character learning about De Mornay's true nature by researching old newspaper slides in a library (Do libraries really have these?). Not that memorable overall, and much tamer than I would have liked, but it's a decent thriller-by-numbers.
54
Plot: An expectant mother (Sciorra) is molested by her gynaecologist, who kills himself in the resulting investigation. His wife (De Mornay) then takes a job as Sciorra's nanny, planning to ruin the family.
---
Thrillers like this are a guilty pleasure for me, and although it has its silly parts, it doesn't get as wacky as you'd expect.Perhaps because it was written by a woman, but for whatever reason it builds up the female psycho character surprisingly well, with good motivation helped by De Mornay's sympathetic performance. When it all comes down to it, she really is just another movie lunatic, though watching the games she plays and allegiences she forms with different family members makes for tense, relatively believable viewing. Hanson seems at his livliest when executing thriller cliches, like the murder (there's only one, odd for this sort of thing) and also indulges in my favourite thriller cliche, a character learning about De Mornay's true nature by researching old newspaper slides in a library (Do libraries really have these?). Not that memorable overall, and much tamer than I would have liked, but it's a decent thriller-by-numbers.
54
Hotel for Dogs (Thor Freudenthal, 2009)
With: Emma Roberts, Jake T Austin, Lisa Kudrow, Kevin Dillon, Don Cheadle
Plot: Two wholesome foster children take over a derelict hotel and turn it into a hotel for stray dogs, if their foster parents find out, they may get separated
---
Well, this is one for dog-loving young children and no-one else at all (the adult actors are wasted), and for this audience it's certainly vibrant and dog-filled enough. All of the children involved are impossibly earnest and bland, having no personality apart from wanting to look for dogs. The story feels stretched, even at just over 90 minutes, and the cloying cuteness of the dogs just isn't for me. What can be said in its favour, however, is that the hotel itself is a marvel of production design, full of Heath Robinson-esque devices dispensing shoes, food and baths to the dogs and the film really comes alive in the montages depicting them. Outside of this? Nothing of interest.
36
Plot: Two wholesome foster children take over a derelict hotel and turn it into a hotel for stray dogs, if their foster parents find out, they may get separated
---
Well, this is one for dog-loving young children and no-one else at all (the adult actors are wasted), and for this audience it's certainly vibrant and dog-filled enough. All of the children involved are impossibly earnest and bland, having no personality apart from wanting to look for dogs. The story feels stretched, even at just over 90 minutes, and the cloying cuteness of the dogs just isn't for me. What can be said in its favour, however, is that the hotel itself is a marvel of production design, full of Heath Robinson-esque devices dispensing shoes, food and baths to the dogs and the film really comes alive in the montages depicting them. Outside of this? Nothing of interest.
36
Home of the Brave (Irwin Winkler, 2006)
With: Samuel L Jackson, Jessica Biel, 50 Cent, Brian Presley, Christina Ricci
Plot: The film follows four Iraq veterans as they deal with returning to America after their tour of duty
---
A well-meaning, and largely well-acted soap opera, this is unfortunately full of terrible writing (sample line - to an angry, distant amputee - "I guess it only takes one good hand to push people away"). At first I thought it was admirably restrained, before figuring out it was just tedium. Things still get hysterical with little logic, and the characters are relatively bland archetypes which you find yourself getting annoyed with rather than sympathising. Still, a few moments and strands are satisfying (Jackson's troubled relationship with his anti-war son for example) and the groundwork for a powerful drama is there if only the characters were better.
47
Plot: The film follows four Iraq veterans as they deal with returning to America after their tour of duty
---
A well-meaning, and largely well-acted soap opera, this is unfortunately full of terrible writing (sample line - to an angry, distant amputee - "I guess it only takes one good hand to push people away"). At first I thought it was admirably restrained, before figuring out it was just tedium. Things still get hysterical with little logic, and the characters are relatively bland archetypes which you find yourself getting annoyed with rather than sympathising. Still, a few moments and strands are satisfying (Jackson's troubled relationship with his anti-war son for example) and the groundwork for a powerful drama is there if only the characters were better.
47
Sunday, 4 October 2009
F/X (Robert Mandel, 1986)
With: Bryan Brown, Brian Dennehy, Diane Venora, Mason Adams, Jerry Orbach
Plot: Special effects creator Rollie (Brown) agrees to participate with police in the fake murder of a mob snitch, when things go wrong he realises he is part of a corrupt police cover up and has been framed. Shiiiiiiiiiit!
---
I wanted to like this more than I did, in template its a thoroughly workmanlike you've-been-framed thriller, but the inclusion of practical special effects as not just a career for the protagonist, but also several key plot points, is almost irresistable. I hear the sequel is a bit more sci-fi than this, which is a shame as this film's real asset is its low tech charm, not just how the 'F/X' are applied but also the obviously under-planned escapes, which adds just enough realism (at one point he just pushes this guy into a lake then legs it!). The bits centring on effects are just window dressing on some very routine action, but they are fun, and the film rattles along at a quick pace. It's an undemanding thriller with a minor twist, just well executed enough (and with a thoroughly likeable cast) to make you glad there's stuff like this around.
55
Plot: Special effects creator Rollie (Brown) agrees to participate with police in the fake murder of a mob snitch, when things go wrong he realises he is part of a corrupt police cover up and has been framed. Shiiiiiiiiiit!
---
I wanted to like this more than I did, in template its a thoroughly workmanlike you've-been-framed thriller, but the inclusion of practical special effects as not just a career for the protagonist, but also several key plot points, is almost irresistable. I hear the sequel is a bit more sci-fi than this, which is a shame as this film's real asset is its low tech charm, not just how the 'F/X' are applied but also the obviously under-planned escapes, which adds just enough realism (at one point he just pushes this guy into a lake then legs it!). The bits centring on effects are just window dressing on some very routine action, but they are fun, and the film rattles along at a quick pace. It's an undemanding thriller with a minor twist, just well executed enough (and with a thoroughly likeable cast) to make you glad there's stuff like this around.
55
Scent of a Woman (Martin Brest, 1992)
With: Al Pacino, Chris O'Donnell, James Rebhorn, Philip Seymour Hoffman
Plot: Charlie (O'Donnell) is a prep shool student unwittingly involved in trouble to do with vandalising school property, over a weekend he takes money to baby-sit a blind, bitter retired Vietnam vet (Pacino), who whisks him off for a weekend of pleasure in New York, planning to subsequently kill himself.
---
It's funny when, after watching this, you suddenly realise how manipulative and corny it is, because I was too engrossed to really notice until the end. Taken at face value the story is pretty stereotypical and trite (wherein Pacino's horrible character is a wise and noble mentor underneath the drinking and rudeness), it even fails to call out the character for any wrongdoing, though at least it doesn't trumpet him as a hero (not quite anyway). The reason these problems don't particularly matter is Pacino's exhaustive performance, inhabiting the character with a fascinating overflow of verbal tics and mannerisms. The script wisely chooses to not deal too heavily in his past (Everything we know about his life is informed by Pacino's attitude), and the parallel storyline of O'Donnell's school troubles is kept to a minimum number of scenes, helping just enough to define the character of Charlie without thinking he can carry as much of the film as its true heavyweight character can. Yes, it's a very Hollywoody 'surrogate father and son' journey but it's mostly kept admirably low key and, despite being a bit overindulgent at two and a half hours, it has enough positives to make for a truly memorable main character, sufficiently served by the story.
60
Plot: Charlie (O'Donnell) is a prep shool student unwittingly involved in trouble to do with vandalising school property, over a weekend he takes money to baby-sit a blind, bitter retired Vietnam vet (Pacino), who whisks him off for a weekend of pleasure in New York, planning to subsequently kill himself.
---
It's funny when, after watching this, you suddenly realise how manipulative and corny it is, because I was too engrossed to really notice until the end. Taken at face value the story is pretty stereotypical and trite (wherein Pacino's horrible character is a wise and noble mentor underneath the drinking and rudeness), it even fails to call out the character for any wrongdoing, though at least it doesn't trumpet him as a hero (not quite anyway). The reason these problems don't particularly matter is Pacino's exhaustive performance, inhabiting the character with a fascinating overflow of verbal tics and mannerisms. The script wisely chooses to not deal too heavily in his past (Everything we know about his life is informed by Pacino's attitude), and the parallel storyline of O'Donnell's school troubles is kept to a minimum number of scenes, helping just enough to define the character of Charlie without thinking he can carry as much of the film as its true heavyweight character can. Yes, it's a very Hollywoody 'surrogate father and son' journey but it's mostly kept admirably low key and, despite being a bit overindulgent at two and a half hours, it has enough positives to make for a truly memorable main character, sufficiently served by the story.
60
Saturday, 3 October 2009
Middletown (Brian Kirk, 2006)
With: Matthew McFadyen, Daniel Mays, Eva Birthistle, Gerard McSorley
Plot: Ireland, the 1950's. Returning from being a missionary, priest Gabriel (McFadyen) finds his hometown, and his family, in a state of sin. Railing against this, he tries to change their ways by any means possible (ie becomes a maniac).
---
Kirk obviously believes he's making something important here, with things to say about religion and society, and while it achieves a sort of credibility with a well conceived family situation, it's really pure, silly melodrama underneath. Luckily the cast are all excellent, McFadyen (who literally seems to hover around over the townsfolk) gives an elegant performance which helps to make an extremely OTT character a convincing force of nature. Really it all loses dignity as Gabriel gets more and more hysterical, but it still manages to be quite riveting in a lurid way, as we watch him get more and more pissed off with the sinners the tension ratchets up considerably, as we wonder what he's going to do. When he finally does snap, it's the film's most ludicrous moment, but the script and, particularly, the cast mean even in its worst moments Middletown is a striking and compulsive film, even if it's also a bit self-important.
52
Plot: Ireland, the 1950's. Returning from being a missionary, priest Gabriel (McFadyen) finds his hometown, and his family, in a state of sin. Railing against this, he tries to change their ways by any means possible (ie becomes a maniac).
---
Kirk obviously believes he's making something important here, with things to say about religion and society, and while it achieves a sort of credibility with a well conceived family situation, it's really pure, silly melodrama underneath. Luckily the cast are all excellent, McFadyen (who literally seems to hover around over the townsfolk) gives an elegant performance which helps to make an extremely OTT character a convincing force of nature. Really it all loses dignity as Gabriel gets more and more hysterical, but it still manages to be quite riveting in a lurid way, as we watch him get more and more pissed off with the sinners the tension ratchets up considerably, as we wonder what he's going to do. When he finally does snap, it's the film's most ludicrous moment, but the script and, particularly, the cast mean even in its worst moments Middletown is a striking and compulsive film, even if it's also a bit self-important.
52
Turner and Hooch (Roger Spottiswoode, 1989)
With: Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham, Craig T Nelson
Plot: Hanks is a police investigator in a town where nothing happens, when one day a murder occurs, and Hanks must look after the only witness: a giant dog.
---
God, they made some terrible films in the 80s, didn't they? Pretty much the whole rating here is for Tom Hanks, who remains likeable throughout and has a couple of slightly funny monologues with the dog. Everything else is near-unwatchable though, with a crime plot not even good enough for TV and a romantic subplot that's there just so there can be a woman in the film. These two elements, along with scenes showing the dog destroying Hanks' house, all seem disconnected from one another, with the crime plot vanishing entirely for most of the film until the writers decide we've had enough fun watching Hooch eat sofas and suddenly shove it back in again. Every poor joke is rammed down your throat with gurning slow-motion close-ups and that tuneless 80s synth cacophony. Even today's Eddie Murphy kiddy vehicles are better than this.
28
Plot: Hanks is a police investigator in a town where nothing happens, when one day a murder occurs, and Hanks must look after the only witness: a giant dog.
---
God, they made some terrible films in the 80s, didn't they? Pretty much the whole rating here is for Tom Hanks, who remains likeable throughout and has a couple of slightly funny monologues with the dog. Everything else is near-unwatchable though, with a crime plot not even good enough for TV and a romantic subplot that's there just so there can be a woman in the film. These two elements, along with scenes showing the dog destroying Hanks' house, all seem disconnected from one another, with the crime plot vanishing entirely for most of the film until the writers decide we've had enough fun watching Hooch eat sofas and suddenly shove it back in again. Every poor joke is rammed down your throat with gurning slow-motion close-ups and that tuneless 80s synth cacophony. Even today's Eddie Murphy kiddy vehicles are better than this.
28
Thursday, 1 October 2009
Surrogates (Jonathan Mostow, 2009)
With: Bruce Willis, Radha Mitchell, Rosamund Pike, Ving Rhames, James Cromwell
Plot: In an alternate present day, everyone stays at home and conducts their business in the outside world via a surrogate robot, when the impossible happens and the destruction of a surrogate kills its operator, cop Tom Greer (Willis) is assigned to get to the bottom of things.
---
Too short, too thin and too busy sprinting towards the ending to be particularly convincing or entertaining. The concept is quite strong, suggesting a world where paranoia and technology have converged and effectively cocooned society, but there's not a single decent character here and it never manages the excitement or streamlined mystery of I, Robot, which this film strongly resembles (right down to casting James Cromwell as the well-meaning inventor of doom). There aren't enough details to flesh out what would be a vastly changed world and the fact that Willis sleepwalks through the whole thing makes it even harder to engage with. It's still perfectly watchable, the subtle effects that define the surrogates are quite hypnotic, but despite the intriguing set-up, this is as humdrum a sci-f-fi actioner as you could imagine.
50
Plot: In an alternate present day, everyone stays at home and conducts their business in the outside world via a surrogate robot, when the impossible happens and the destruction of a surrogate kills its operator, cop Tom Greer (Willis) is assigned to get to the bottom of things.
---
Too short, too thin and too busy sprinting towards the ending to be particularly convincing or entertaining. The concept is quite strong, suggesting a world where paranoia and technology have converged and effectively cocooned society, but there's not a single decent character here and it never manages the excitement or streamlined mystery of I, Robot, which this film strongly resembles (right down to casting James Cromwell as the well-meaning inventor of doom). There aren't enough details to flesh out what would be a vastly changed world and the fact that Willis sleepwalks through the whole thing makes it even harder to engage with. It's still perfectly watchable, the subtle effects that define the surrogates are quite hypnotic, but despite the intriguing set-up, this is as humdrum a sci-f-fi actioner as you could imagine.
50
The Ramen Girl (Robert Allan Ackerman, 2008)
With: Brittany Murphy, Toshiyuki Nishida, Sohee Park, Tammy Blanchard
Plot: Abby (Murphy) is at a loss in Tokyo after being dumped by the boyfriend she moved there for. She takes refuge in a local Ramen shop and trains under a tempestuous master (Nishida) to become a skilled ramen chef.
---
Starts off agreeable enough, with Murphy a fairly appealing presence as the emotional but plucky fish out of water, and for a good forty minutes it's a pleasant, if derivative extended training montage. there seems to be no real goals set for the character other than becoming good at cooking ramen, so other elements such as a chef's contest and a parental bond forming between teacher and student are half-heartedly thrown into the last act. This gives the film's second half a curiously unsatisfying feel, but despite this the main problems are fuzzy logic and character motivations (this certainly isn't the real world) and the awful western friends who are obviously copied from the wacky, lovable brit-com friend template but are written and acted with such shrieking campness that the film literally drops dead whnever they're on screen. The slightly unusual mix of elements (girly self-actualisation film with karate kid structure) is unusual enough to keep things mildly engaging, but as one listless scene fades into the next (the romantic sub-plot is the definition of an afterthought, and the much-vaunted ramen cooking barely features) it's hard to sustain interest.
38
Plot: Abby (Murphy) is at a loss in Tokyo after being dumped by the boyfriend she moved there for. She takes refuge in a local Ramen shop and trains under a tempestuous master (Nishida) to become a skilled ramen chef.
---
Starts off agreeable enough, with Murphy a fairly appealing presence as the emotional but plucky fish out of water, and for a good forty minutes it's a pleasant, if derivative extended training montage. there seems to be no real goals set for the character other than becoming good at cooking ramen, so other elements such as a chef's contest and a parental bond forming between teacher and student are half-heartedly thrown into the last act. This gives the film's second half a curiously unsatisfying feel, but despite this the main problems are fuzzy logic and character motivations (this certainly isn't the real world) and the awful western friends who are obviously copied from the wacky, lovable brit-com friend template but are written and acted with such shrieking campness that the film literally drops dead whnever they're on screen. The slightly unusual mix of elements (girly self-actualisation film with karate kid structure) is unusual enough to keep things mildly engaging, but as one listless scene fades into the next (the romantic sub-plot is the definition of an afterthought, and the much-vaunted ramen cooking barely features) it's hard to sustain interest.
38
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
The Soloist (Joe Wright, 2009)
With: Robert Downey Jr, Jamie Foxx, Catherine Keener, Tom Hollander
Plot: LA Times writer Steve Lopez (Downey Jr) is struggling for interesting column ideas when he happens across Nathaniel Ayers (Jamie Foxx) a homeless probable schizophrenic with a talent for playing the violin and cello.
---
This seems to think that all that's needed to be moving is for worthy things to be placed on the screen and fawned over by the actors. Mental illness! The transcendent power of music! It's watchable, but very tedious and Wright's attempts to visualise the beauty of music with screen-saver style flashing colours and extreme close ups of bows across strings are a bit embarassing really. He's an aesthetically restless director, always looking for creative ways to needlessly swoop around the environment and like his 'LOOK-AT-THIS!' tracking shot in Atonement's Dunkirk scene, such techniques don't add anything to what is intended to be a sombre story. Otherwise, everything is just going through the motions, with a typically romantic view of mental illness (it's implied that medicating Nathaniel would almost be akin to neutering him, or dimming his idiot savant magic) and some of the most pointless childhood flashbacks ever imagined (how did the crazy music lover come to be how he was? Well he loved music when he was younger, and one day went crazy. The end). It's mostly restrained enough, and the cast try their best, though Foxx has that overly intense sincerity, like Tom Cruise, which seems to cry out 'I'm really acting now!'. The one interesting scene is where Lopez's drunk wife (Keener) calls him on his supposedly altruistic exploitation of Nathaniel, but that's a much too complex notion to explore in such a cut and dry 'inspirational piece', so it's no surprise to see it quietly dismissed.
43
Plot: LA Times writer Steve Lopez (Downey Jr) is struggling for interesting column ideas when he happens across Nathaniel Ayers (Jamie Foxx) a homeless probable schizophrenic with a talent for playing the violin and cello.
---
This seems to think that all that's needed to be moving is for worthy things to be placed on the screen and fawned over by the actors. Mental illness! The transcendent power of music! It's watchable, but very tedious and Wright's attempts to visualise the beauty of music with screen-saver style flashing colours and extreme close ups of bows across strings are a bit embarassing really. He's an aesthetically restless director, always looking for creative ways to needlessly swoop around the environment and like his 'LOOK-AT-THIS!' tracking shot in Atonement's Dunkirk scene, such techniques don't add anything to what is intended to be a sombre story. Otherwise, everything is just going through the motions, with a typically romantic view of mental illness (it's implied that medicating Nathaniel would almost be akin to neutering him, or dimming his idiot savant magic) and some of the most pointless childhood flashbacks ever imagined (how did the crazy music lover come to be how he was? Well he loved music when he was younger, and one day went crazy. The end). It's mostly restrained enough, and the cast try their best, though Foxx has that overly intense sincerity, like Tom Cruise, which seems to cry out 'I'm really acting now!'. The one interesting scene is where Lopez's drunk wife (Keener) calls him on his supposedly altruistic exploitation of Nathaniel, but that's a much too complex notion to explore in such a cut and dry 'inspirational piece', so it's no surprise to see it quietly dismissed.
43
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
Orca - Killer Whale (Michael Anderson, 1977)
With: Richard Harris, Charlotte Rampling, Bo Derek, Will Sampson, Robert Carradine
Plot: When a fisherman (Harris), accidentally kills a pregnant killer whale, its mate stalks after the guilty crew, apparrently overcome with desire for vengeance.
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For the most part this fits the bill of 'mildly diverting Jaws rip-off', but it's strangely interesting in places. The opening whale death is particularly drawn out and harrowing (If it were a human it would be worse than Hostel), and the repeated insistence (from marine biologist Rampling) that the Orca husband is on a killing spree of passion and revenge, while ridiculous, does eventually get under your skin, with all the sad close-ups of whale eyes, and scenes of Harris' mental state in tatters, you certainly don't need to get to the ending to know whose side the filmmakers are on. This stuff is more interesting to think about than to watch though, and eventually the film sinks to pure macho-mysticism as we are to believe the whale and Harris are having some cross-species war of gentleman. Despite some silly bits (Orca manages to drag an entire house into the sea and later confusingly manages to explode a whole village), the action material is solid, with some amazing whale footage and a surprising taste for dismemberment. They should get Renny Harlin to remake it. Seriously!
52
Plot: When a fisherman (Harris), accidentally kills a pregnant killer whale, its mate stalks after the guilty crew, apparrently overcome with desire for vengeance.
---
For the most part this fits the bill of 'mildly diverting Jaws rip-off', but it's strangely interesting in places. The opening whale death is particularly drawn out and harrowing (If it were a human it would be worse than Hostel), and the repeated insistence (from marine biologist Rampling) that the Orca husband is on a killing spree of passion and revenge, while ridiculous, does eventually get under your skin, with all the sad close-ups of whale eyes, and scenes of Harris' mental state in tatters, you certainly don't need to get to the ending to know whose side the filmmakers are on. This stuff is more interesting to think about than to watch though, and eventually the film sinks to pure macho-mysticism as we are to believe the whale and Harris are having some cross-species war of gentleman. Despite some silly bits (Orca manages to drag an entire house into the sea and later confusingly manages to explode a whole village), the action material is solid, with some amazing whale footage and a surprising taste for dismemberment. They should get Renny Harlin to remake it. Seriously!
52
The Temp (Tom Holland, 1993)
WITH: Timothy Hutton, Lara Flynn Boyle, Faye Dunaway, Oliver Platt, Steven Weber
PLOT: Advertising exec Hutton gets a hard-working, sexy temp (Boyle) to help him vie for an important promotion, unfortunately she turns out to be Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.
---
Not actually as vulgar and stupid as you'd expect a bottom of the barrel 'bitch from hell' thriller to be, which is a shame as what you'd imagine is much more enjoyable than this slightly embarassed thing. It dutifully lays out the most tedious, obvious thriller structure you can imagine, then lays there dead as ridiculous plot twists and holes pile on to no effect. The film's body count is bizarrely high, Boyle offing company men every few minutes, and no-one even gets suspicious until they think a company recipe has been leaked! The bitch from hell herself is played by Boyle as a vacuously pouty, ambitious enigma, and in tandem with the thoughtless plotting provides her no real moments of evil (We don't really see her doing anything bad or sexy, it's just implied that she does). Maybe worth watching for some funny details, such as how lazily telegraphed some deaths are ("Agh, a bee, get it away I'm fatally allergic!!"). Probably not though.
35
PLOT: Advertising exec Hutton gets a hard-working, sexy temp (Boyle) to help him vie for an important promotion, unfortunately she turns out to be Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.
---
Not actually as vulgar and stupid as you'd expect a bottom of the barrel 'bitch from hell' thriller to be, which is a shame as what you'd imagine is much more enjoyable than this slightly embarassed thing. It dutifully lays out the most tedious, obvious thriller structure you can imagine, then lays there dead as ridiculous plot twists and holes pile on to no effect. The film's body count is bizarrely high, Boyle offing company men every few minutes, and no-one even gets suspicious until they think a company recipe has been leaked! The bitch from hell herself is played by Boyle as a vacuously pouty, ambitious enigma, and in tandem with the thoughtless plotting provides her no real moments of evil (We don't really see her doing anything bad or sexy, it's just implied that she does). Maybe worth watching for some funny details, such as how lazily telegraphed some deaths are ("Agh, a bee, get it away I'm fatally allergic!!"). Probably not though.
35
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